To my soul mate:

Let this be my confession. Thank you for being my soulmate and that I can count on you to share and obtain some advice from a Christian point of view. Now I understand what you mean that sometimes people are better off as soulmates :) You've been there for me when I'm really down, with my wife (best friend) away somewhere in China and some other friends, busy with their lives. I really appreciate that.

Now it's my turn to apologise.
I'm sorry for burdening you with my troubles especially when I'm so fickle. Even I myself find it really irritating. It's not like I don't know what to do but whether I will follow through what I've decided.

I do not know your definition of feelings.
So I don't know if my interest in this means that I do have feelings for him. All I know is that I don't like to disappoint people especially when the other party tries so hard. I can easily forget and move on when I sense that the other person is not making an effort to maintain the relationship. However, I really have a soft spot for people who tries to accommodate my time to meet me, travel all the way to my side when I'm lazy to move, go along with my spontaneous requests, etc. Of course what I've just mentioned does not all apply in this case.

I really like the thrill, venturing into a situation that no one has control in. Well, I guess the above shows that I like to play. You can say I'm cruel, you can say I'm not considering his feelings, you can say I'm hurting others. Right now, I do not have the ability to break free from such sinful thoughts. Hah, I'm selfish too.

I need to find my answer and an appropriate action to settle all these.
Hopefully, it will be the best solution. Please keep me in your prayers. I will pray for you too.
May we both learn and grow in Christ.
There's nothing much human can do, let God do the impossible.
Let God fill the gaps in our hearts.
Let him lead.

Thankfully, Phoe finally remember to pass me this book (I kissed dating goodbye.) Hopefully, I can find my answer in there.

To tian, if you ever find your way here. Thanks for making an effort to meet me today. Thanks for listening to me go on and on about people too.
We're both facing problems and they are similar to a certain extent. Hopefully, we can both find solutions to our problems real soon and that we can return to our happy selves again. Look forward to the next time we meet.