Hello Blog.

Life's controversial. I am ironic.

When there's school, it's stressed.

When there's holidays, it's boring.

When it's boring, I take up activities.

Then I become busy and feel empty.

But if there's nth to do, I feel empty as well.

You could say I deserve this.

My christmas wishes!

1) A m&n container that can put chocolates. then when you press a button it will come out! how sweet and fun!

2) needa get a new ear piece!

3) hangout and chill, eat lots of cookies, cakes! YUM!

Probably most of the stuff i needa get them myself. Oh well!

Mama's birthday!

HAPPY HAPPY. Families get together to eat, full house to gather all the cousins.

We did funny poses, laugh at each other.

It's really heart warming that we could have such a tight bond. it took years to build, but worth it, worth maintaining as well. Glad that Ronnie could integrate into our family well! Actually, was hoping for the amelia and amanda to start bringing their bfs over, so we could help, look look/ get to know them better and pray for them.

Overall it's a fun and joyous event.

大家好！

I am currently sitting at cityhall starbucks waiting for my next paper. Decided to take sometime to blog since I don't have much to revise on for my next paper. Really Thank God that i can clear 2 papers today. MC was the horror, i was kinda worried that i took some time to fall asleep.

This morning was dramatic. Jinci and Jinmei woke up even earlier than my 7am alarm and were preparing for their USS trip today. They are so excited. Jinmei so happy and putting her contact lenses. Jinci putting make up. wow. Then when they are done, it's brother and I left to wash up and go to school for exams. oh well, they had their fair share of exams stress.

Had been listening English songs, especially the Sing-off Season 3. Pentatonxi is amazing, what differentiates them is that every song has a climax and something different. But as what the judges say, their challenge is how much more innovation can they come up with.

Anyway, here's a nice Mandarin song that I'm listening to. Click on the link to listen!

Hebe田馥甄 - 我對不起我

爱给了我什么 没沉沦就超脱
爱不能伤害我 还是我没爱过
我没做错什么 却把一切错过
你是爱不起我 我也对不起我

Hey diary,

today is the start of my exams. Just finished my FA paper.

It was kinda difficult, but i don't feel worried, or upset. Just peaceful and happy that it's all over.

2 more papers tomorrow and then 1 more left on monday.

This marks the end of semester 1 of year 2 for me.

Really fast, especially when you start hearing the guys of same batch ORDing.

When they enter university, I will be in year 3!

On the bright side, that will be 1 more sem to go!

Plans for this dec!

1) working at an event job for 3 days

2) driving

3) church camp

4) VJC and voix caroling

5) church christmas events

6) HONG KONG!

This Dec, as usual, will be packed and meaningful! :)

写华语是一个不容易让别人猜透的方式。

感觉快出事了。可能传达错误的消息，但我不想查清楚，或改正。好想逃跑。

认错就这么难吗？

人生或者就是充满了这种事物，人才能学习倚靠主。

为了不让自己想太多，我决定不上 facebook，不看／不常看 email。

今晚还把 skype 跟电话关了。

不上网了。着也未免是件坏事，可以好好专心的考试。

今晚好孤单哦。

但这一个星期一个人过，因该习惯了。

Studying really requires perseverance.

I remember how easy it was to tell that to my sister, that she isn't studying enough, that she's not driven. But i forgot that perseverance in studying still applies to me. I thought all that was over, it was in the past, that in university, you don't have to be that driven, that determined, I thought reading through the textbook once is sufficient. BUT NO, whatever you do in life still requires perseverance and patient (during the tough perseverance period) to suceed.

We can hardly blamed youngsters that are living their lives with meaningless. They are just burnt out after being put through endless cycles of perseverance. Like them, I wonder what payoffs I can get from these struggles.

Shall end off with a story (edited version, can't remember the actual content)

There are two good friends are sitting at the school benches. One of them is actively studying, while the other is staring into blank space, perhaps enjoying the scenery. (yes yes, it means slacking)

Mugger : "Why aren't you studying hard! our exams are next week!"

Slacker : "For what?"

Mugger: "So we can get a good grade la!" , saying it as a matter-of-factly.

Slacker : "For what?"

Mugger: "to get a good GPA. LIKE DUH"

Slacker : "For what?"

Mugger: "To graduate and get a good job la"

Slacker : "For what?"

Mugger: "So can earn alot of money!" he voice filled with excitement!

Slacker : "For what?"

Mugger: "So can retire early!", starting to get irritated by Slacker's replies.

Slacker : "For what?"

Mugger: "So can live a relax life!"

Slacker : "Ain't I doing that now?"

Hey Blog,

There's quite alot to update you with.

Firstly, you have been nice and faithful in keeping my previous posts.

It's really entertaining in looking at the posts since year 2009, that's like J1 (3 years ago).

A lot has changed since then. Relationships created and broken, friends that were by my side left, things that i have once wrote were forgotten.

Let's talk more about the recent events.

1) It's currently week 14, for those who don't know it means 1 more week of study break and then EXAMS and then HOLIDAYS! woohoo! Time really flies, i remember how dreadful it was during week 4 when i so wanted to cry and drop my class and now it's all over (except for the final exam).

2) Talked to David after so long. I was telling him how time flies, I met him in sec 3 which was 5 years ago. Then he said: " Time flies but for the people not using it and you seem to be using it pretty well!" It's true in a way, but it makes me wonder, why are we trying to accomplish so much with time? Can't we have crazy moments, time that we just did nothing? This links back to the movie i just watched, You're The Apple of my Eye. Those experiences of making noise in class, puppy love, not bother studying, not having a care in the world, at the age of 16. I don't seem to have them. Yes, my secondary school days are fun, but it's different. It was revolving about my studies most of the time.

Probably this is similar to what we learnt in marketing class- cognitive dissonance/ the grass is always greener on the other side. Even though i had fun then, i just kept thinking, why can't i have another kind of experience. You can't have the best of both world.

For those interested in the movie, which i highly recommend, here's the link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xWzlwGVQ6_Q&feature=share

3) Being in an environment that wants results produced at the shortest possible time and ignoring the process, I tend to be rash and rush things. However, life's not like cup noodles, you can't have everything instant.

This is a lesson i need to learn, about driving, studies, relationships, plans, everything.

I probably don't expect people to find this blog, but if you do, if comment on the tagboard k. Just wanna keep track of how many people know my secrets.

HELLO EVERYONE! I've a new chat box!

New shit just happens everyday.

我愛你 你愛她 她愛她 她愛他 ...

I must have been too attached to you that I feel hurt.

It's progressive, like step by step, the disappointment increases such that I felt really really affected.

I was laughing, making it like a joke but I could feel tears coming out (ok, maybe I was exaggerating- but having the effect in which tears can drop in this sort of silly situation shows how affected i am)

Action: Diversify.

On the bright side, saturday at vivo was really relaxing. I missed my VJC choir friends so much. I guess i'm more attached to juniors than to my batch or seniors. Talking to them about school scary stories and love life. I feel like I am the one being counselled instead. Colin asked me : " you're planning on getting married right?" I went: "I really don't know... i don't mind being single/alone." Heartaches of my friends relationship seems to affect me more than them. And they were still so hopeful of love. Perhaps theirs was just 1 failed love. But I was a collation of all the sad stories I've heard.

Blog, If you're depending on my posts to survive, you would have been a fossil by now.

It's really hard to depend on God all the time. Or rather, it would have been easy if I can depend on God all the time. Other than posting things I've learnt in a positive way, I've decided to enlarge my writing scope to include doubts that I have.

We are all imperfect. But our imperfect shows even more when we're in a group. Would it be better if we're all in solitude, enjoy the peace and comfort alone.

I understand why you behave that way. We're too exposed to the world that we will learn one or two tricks from there. We seek to be accepted. We want to stand out. We hope for attention. At that age, I too, behaved that way. However, currently, I m not mature enough to tolerate or accept you. You need time. But can I disappear while you grow up? Putting it another way, can I come back when I'm mature enough to accept you and the following batches?

I wish I could do that. However, I've been too deeply rooted. I could have stunt growth, but I can never uproot myself. On the other hand, can I survive in such an environment?

I wonder what did the ''seniors'' feel when I was like that in the past. haha.