it's only been 1 week since the end of my A level papers but it feels as though i've been laying around at home for months. so bored. i'm gg to find jobs!!

anw, choir farewell's over. kinda sad, that these 2 years pass so quickly. it's a pity we didn't sing no man as an end off.

i'm gg to re-perm my hair. oh ya, i keep droppin alot of hair lo!! i wonder if it's due to the shampoo or the perming.

i watched you're beautiful already!!! so nice!
and now i'm watching IRIS. haha.

i haven been updating you for so long. anw, life's good. since As are over in 4 papers time ALTHOUGH that 3 more papers is gg to last for 2 weeks.

oh well, i'm already in the holiday mood. every paper done is like throwing away 2 years of burden. imagine, i no longer need to do essays for GP!!! no more econs.
hahah.

looking forward to holidays.
there's so much i want to do. i better make a list soon!

i studied alone today at Sing post as swen, yoon studying with other ppl, hoe's sick, tian not free and qin went shopping. oh well, at least yoon came to look for me for awhile.

when i think about the future, i'm feeling glad that all these are coming to an end. but when i'm studying at this moment, i'm scared that all these ain't enough. what if i haven't pushed myself hard enough? what if by studying a bit more i can achieve much more? however, if i did, ain't i depending on myself and not God?

that's why i hate to think. hate to plan.
just let me live day by day.

at least we study for a purpose.

i've been neglecting you and qin's diary for so long. many things had happened. we laughed, cried, been together and now had ended. but we'ill try to keep it together although we all know it's hard. people do move on you see.

things will never be the same.
but you can still try to keep it that way.

hey yo! today is my bday!!! WOOH HOO. i shall blog! this are the presents i receive!




the below pic is by my class. i feel kinda bad cus i told everyone that i wanted water bottle and fake nails and my class bought them for me. HOWEVER, my sis bought nails for me and my ah ma bought water bottle for me too!!! nvm, I WILL USE THEM ALL! dun have to buy waterbottle for the next 5 yrs le... haha
THE PICTURES BELOW ARE FRM QIN!

best durian cake. qin rushed down to orchard to buy cus the cake needs to be served within 45 min for it to be nice. I'M SO TOUCHED.

this is the KEY by qin too...

anw, i really wanna thank my class for their really nice wishes on the card. every msg was so sincere. and some of them said i sang well and wanna hear me sing. SHOCKED. anw, special thanks to yoon, jia, swen for gg out w me to slack and laugh. i dun need a comprehensive celebration, i jus need one with the ppl i love. it was really fun today.


to qin, why ur letters alwys so sad. is it because we're alwys so happy together, that our sad emotions can only be expressed thru paper? i cant believe i teared jus by peeping at the contents when u went toilet. HAIX, i just cant change the habit of crying outside... LOL. oh well, but i'm glad that u can leave this sad place soon.

ok. on a lighter note, i'm happy.

some ppl are just so irritating.

i wanted to blog ytd, but the net screwed up. so....

ytd was fun. i went out w vic. i've telepathy with her la. cus i was slacking at home then i wanted to go out to study, but i thot i should rest another day at home first. so i msg her and a few others to ask who is available out tmr. and she replied "how abt now?" HAHAHA. so we went and studied!

as usual, vic do all the "i cant expect anyone will do it but vic alwys do these out-of-the-box" stuff... but, WISH U MAX HAPPINESS IN THE FEW YEARS TO COME. haha. oh we went to this literature store, where vic went "oooo oooo aahhhh ahhh" ovr the things. the stuff are really arty AND expensive. there's also diff kind of cameras. it's really a store for vic man.

today, went out w qin to esplanade library to study. i saw this girl wearing vjc choir shirt there. i guess she should be a year 2, w long hair, likes music as she was borrowing books... so it's either wen siu or cheryl! i guess it's wen siu. BUT TOO BAD. i cant see her face...

we studied at the tables there for a few hours, then we went to subway at marina sq. TOTALLY CANT study there la. the lights are flicking and there were sofa to slack on. so we went back to esplanade library but the tables were taken. so we sat at the seats near e window. the chair have no friction. i kept sliding off. and the lighting was REAL bad. but we persevere and studied till 830. u may say quantity is not quality, BUT when there's no quantity, there's no quality.

looking thru the window at SG nite scenery is really emo-ing for me. the memories came back, like how i use to walk down the river w lindis, how the carolling performances and concerts were, all the fun and crazy moments. oh well, good things everything's gonna end sooner or later one.

then qin went home and i wanted to walk back to the mrt. AND I SAW this grp of a cappella grp performing. THEY WERE REALLY GOOD. entertaining, fun, engaging, good sound and cute! hahaha. aft the performance then i know they are the yale alley cats. they totally light up my day.

ytd, i was back from the tns camp. aft they dismissed us, my group wanted to go out for lunch, but i pang sei them, cause i really cant take it le. SO TIRED AND DIRTY. so i took a cab home and BATH and SLEEP. till the next morning. i'm like BOOM drop dead, i didn't even wake up when my alarm rings. but aft 12 midnight, i kinda regain my consciousness and keep a cycle of waking up and sleeping all the way till 9am! anw, i could feel my throat swelling in the night. luckily it was better when i woke up...

the kids are really good, i mean i woke up this morning and a few of them already emailed me and added me on face book. dont they needed sleep when they go home? mayb it's just me that needs 18 hours of rest aft a 3 day camp.

anw, some pictures.

xiu xiu is so cute! this is quan jia fu pose!

my group kid: ryan.

this kid is from another group! don't u think he looks like e stairways to heaven, the painter guy?!

my group ppl. haha. my fellow gf and the girls.

everytime i come online, i feel the need to write my t3a, yet i keep procrastinating.

so mayb i will avoid this place. blog, u're going to be alone for quite some time.

sucker.


stop quarelling.


damn.





why must there be this mess?


you think you're good?

just do your own work.







shut up.






when must you have control of it?
when it's effort by both sides.













damn.

don't say anything, if they aren't going to come out nice.

haix.

when i was just having a little hope in love.
this had to happen again. on my best friend.

i know it's too late to say anything, that's why i wasn't scolding/blaming. or at least i tried not to. because no matter how much we cried for you or how hard you tried to smile, we all know u're the one that's bleeding inside. diff ppl have diff weakness, we jus have to overcome them with God's help by ourselves.

i really hoped you can come church with me.
because i really dun know what to say or how to help u... i know you can't just break off like that even though i think that's the best way. but i just hope that listening to God's words can help u make the right choice from now on.

my church tchr once asked:
"how many ppl have you brought to christ?"
... ... ...

"how many of them are still in church?"
...

"how many of them are still in church and are serving?"
.

you've definitely pulled me back from my holiday slacking mode to the face the reality mode.

hey, long time no update. i'm so lazy to update....

so just tell u what happened recently.

went for

jia and tey siang bday

syf

match support

ruoyu bday

sov

swen bday

missing lessons...

HELLO.

I WENT OUT WITH WAN SWEN YTD. we wanted to buy bags. and we knew of a cheap place to get them. BUT they're totally not our style. all the bags are the cute cute ones carry by little girls!

so we went to eat subway and studied at kfc. AND AND, THERE'S THIS CUTE GUY THAT CAME AND SAT AT THE TABLE BESIDE US. ahhhhhhhh!!! when he came, both me and swen looked at each other w/o talking!! and we knew what's on our minds. anw, i thot that guy looks a little like yang wei.

then we studied and....

wan swen slept. go see her photo in my face book!

i took lots of random photos! see my new hair isnt really ugly.

hahahaahaah!

hey yo.

QIN YO, cheer up. do de stress urself and TALK TO ME if u have probs. laugh 300 times a day ok, just like children with happy childhood. hahaha.

things to plan
1) study camp
2) great sg sale
3) movie?
4) baking
... ...


now, i so hope it won't reach.

haix.

i'm so lazy to fight for something i don't desire so much. yet, for the sake of my precious friends and juniors. HAIX.

dave is so troublesome. keep changing links.

i've been slacking this whole 2 weeks. watch drama (mei-chan... boys b4 flowers..), play with my new hp, slp in lectures... i just feel that everything is meaningless, studying, going to school, getting a cert. what's all these for?

sorry, my answer is a NO. maybe it will end up like what bing hao have said. i'm nt going. i kinda wish i can go, to go relax, play... esp since i dun have the studying motivation now. but, my parents said it's not worth it and accidents may happen eg my face break out last yr... so it's safer not to go and stay in sg to study. oh well, since i do not have such a deep desire to go, i will just go according to their wishes. my frens are nt gg anw...

haha.

i've gotten a new phone. though it's at a more ex price. BUT WHATEVER, just be contented jinli. stupid jinli. why are u so fickle minded. AH.

POSITIVE POSITIVE POSITIVE.

oh dave, it's been so long since i see you. saw ur tag! what happened? i purposely online so that u can talk to me on msn. hahaha

i haven't been updating for a week.
well, so much have happened that i can't put them into words. feelings just keep piling up. it's this whole year worth of problems that can't be solve in a few days.

went to spiritual adoption family's house.
"are you ok? why are you so quiet"

"i'm always quiet." i said in a bhb tone.

so why? why is it that people notice that i'm quiet? if it's phoe sitting there, they won't ask rite? am i really that noisy last time? well, i think the prob is not that people notice, it's rather, why have i changed? what have i become?

anti social?
recently... i mean from the start of the year, i love to be quiet. esp in church. just sit down there and think or stone. i'm kinda tired of answering qns. standard qns. regarding how am i coping, how's my life.... WHAT CAN I SAY OTHER THAN "OK" ? can i say that i'm not doing fine. i'm really tired. i don't want to study anymore. i don't care about you anymore. i don't want to explain how i feel. even if i said all these, it can't solve anything. so what's the use of saying. plus, most of the time, i'm contradicting myself .


"will you all go to erm, what's that called, a pub? or a club?"
"NO. of course. i want to avoid temptation"
"i want to set a good example for my family"
(do you wanna hear the honest answer? i struggled.)

"yes. i don't mind. i want to go see see."

*shocked looks*

if you really know me, you know that i love to challenge traditions, people, whatever. even if i do agree with you, i just want to argue with you. doesn't that makes the conversation more interesting? and you can see things from a different view.

i remembered when i called home during class outing last friday. "Mom, i'm going home late." we negotiate about the time i should go home. blah blah. quarrelled quarrelled and i've to go home before 1145. but i said "i will take the last train."

in the end, everyone went home at 10 because the shops were all closed. no ice cream to eat.
it's like i don't want to live a life that's controlled by others. I want you to trust me. To give me the freedom to do what i want. But i will always do what you wanted me to because i don't want to break your faith in me.

"i'm struggling because i can't be a totally evil person because i will feel guilty yet i can't be a totally good person due to the environment."
i totally agree. That's why i'm struggling. the fight between the evil and the good. it's either complete victory or complete failure. anything in between is pain.

the year that i was pulled away so much that i feel like quiting bs.
friends do influence your priorities.



as i get closer to my class and further from my church.

WAH SIAN. i got food poisoning from last night choir bbq. can't go bs after service cus i've to rush home to rest. should have eaten the pill before i left house. should have eaten the pill last night when it hurts. but i thought my immune system is stronger than that.

so ytd was 9am to 9pm. out the WHOLE day. super dirty, smelly and tired but fun!

firstly, i went to tns pre camp and made new friends like yu xin, yang rong and cedar girls. got this v cute gal inside! hahaha. it was really dehydrating to be under the hot bright sun and playing PRI 4 games. like see who skip faster? however, our team is so slack, we're like playing tricks for most of the games la. then we walked to ecp and back to tns to get familiarise with the night hike..

after the pre camp, i went back to the beach with jomel for the choir bbq. and it was drizzling. finally managed to start the fire. and cook. and eat. we couldnt play games becus ppl won't coming on time and they wanted to eat first. u noe, when ppl started to eat their moods so BOOM into the nua mode. so where got mood to play. ... made me prepare for nth. THEN they keep wanting to push the activities to after the bbq food are done cooking and eatin. PLEASE la. ppl wanna go home want leh. then when most of them really gotta go we did angel mortal reveal in a messy way and end. some went home, some eat, others get high. LOL. most food was tao bao anyway. then i cope a chicken wing to eat on the way home. i think it was THAT wing that resulted in me in this plight.

sian. seriously should i just stay at home for tmr? what if i sick again?

BUT CANT PANG SEH RITE? sian.

happy bird day to my sister!!! CHEN JINCI!

may God continue to bless you each day!



today is a happy day.
why?

1) last paper of ct1
2) sing k
3) my new maid came
4) my sis bird day
5) i've enough sleep
6) no lessons tmr
7) gg to pre camp on sat
8) .... ...


but i'm kinda sad for wan swen. next time must keep a look out for each other's things and rmb not to be so careless myself.

hope qin is doing fine. i think she's also stressed over studies. jia you. a little more and u can be as free as a bird.

it's good to aim.

but i'm not those determined enough to put in so much to achieve those goals.

so what's the use of having aims in the first place?

maybe that's just an excuse for me not putting in enough effort.



went studying with wan swen at just acia. we just kept eating!



he's really cute! ahhh.
it's the feeling you get when you see your eye candy!!
but i'm supposed to be so over him already.
hmmm.

oh whatever, focus on cts first. ahhhh.


counting down to end of jc life.

to get more freedom.

don't comment if you can't do better.


went out to study with qin and kexin. once again realised how quickly money could be spent .
i'm so amazed with kexin's skills on eyelash, nails. ... ...
she did change alot but i think we all do. it's like we've to, in order to fit into the surrounding we're in now. however, i believed deep down we're all the same..


i want to do e ass NOW. but it isn't loading.

urgh.


mon is the start.

may the end comes quickly.

ok, i owe ppl lots of photos! sry. i'm too lazy to upload PLUS my handphone camera is really lousy. anw, here's some interesting stuff.

WHICH FACIAL EXPRESSION IS THE CORRECT ONE for soyjoy?

HMMMM....

went back with vic to tkg! haha. we ate so much food in the sch canteen and still went to eat jack place! yum!

<3 all my best friends!

it's beeen soooo long since i've seen qin! :( regreted the home study plan. IT DIDNT WORK OUT.

i should avoid emo talk from now on.

oh my.

there's so many things i dunno!
i keep getting headaches.

helppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp!

live in grace or
live in faith.

on the bright side, sajiko jelly drink is yummy! my headaches are not super pain. and no choir tmr.

my mum kept tellin me not to get a bf whenever there's show abt broken relationships on the tv which is every now and then. and i tell her, go be a nun la.
... ...

she just chose the wrong moment to talk to me. WHEN i'm doing e ass.

it's all in the mind.

i'm not going to let you affect me.





study.


yes. study


yes. yes. study


most imptly, God bless.

from david :

"I <3>
(oh, the perfectly normal way aka. like bro sis like that or smth. :D)

Shes strong in the queer sense of the world. She is my pillar of strength when I get disillusioned. Shes strong. Strong in the weird and pessimistic and even more despair sense. -.-

:DI still remember that time we met in the circle with lindis. How I kind of got infatuated with you in the lift. BUT NEVER AGAIN. :D Youre too precious a friend for me to fall in love the romantic way anyway. ..."

i've cut off the bottom stuff cus it's not worth knowing. BUT thanks david. u've made my night happy! after a whole series of dramatic events in the day.

breathing checked. face checked. eyes checked.
all clear. let's enter the house.

i hate crying. it's like showing that i'm weak and i can't control my own emotions.
i'm really envious of pris, even though i tink she's sad, she didn't cry.

but, it's like the time of the month that i will feel emo and adding the impact of the high stress level on me. i could hardly control myself. the whole day is already bad with me not wanting to go for jms and can't go for jts to bryan yoon showed his temper as he feels that we're taking him for granted.

i guess everyone is stressed up.

(skip this section if u dun wanna hear ranting.)
i rmbed when i was in sec 3, i was so sian of taking so many subjects suddenly and all in depth. thot that was the worst moment. then came sec 4, with everyone telling u, it's gonna be alright, u're smart and u've so many tests to struggle with. that's when i really looked forward to jc life. i thot after sec 4 it will be a happily ever after (full stop).

once again, i was wrong. j1, life gets busier with the crap timetable u've to stick to and the long hours of cca (as compared to sec sch). mid years drove me nuts. i gave up studying. promos made it worst. seeing everyone improved since then as the papers are easier. yet. urs? below average.


j2? i guess life jus gets harder.

sorry for calling you suddenly. i feel really bad depending on you like that. it's just that i find comfort in your voice. thanks for being there. u're like the random friend that i can call when i needa talk abt choir stuff. :)

i wanted to rant abt ytd so much. but i'm kinda tired of repeating the story OVER and OVER and OVER again. main points are

1) i'm starting to hate _ _ _ _ _. mayb it's because of my frens psycho-ing me that or mayb it's because i've finally seen the truth. it's a total waste of time. but... ytd's waste of time was not an internal prob but by external factors. however, i was really pissed of by people shh-ing others when it's them who are talking in the first place. IRRITATING. i wasnt even uttering A word, and i've to put up with these noises. and the seniors are really noisy. it's so late at night and they aren't even tired. SPARE a thoughts for ur poor juniors who are out since the morning at 9pm. (excluding waking up time.)

2) i'm changin my decision to go for the trip. i used to think that i may jus blurly fill up all the forms and poof! i end up in austria. but .... rating the rate of satisfaction i'ill get when i go for it as compared to the efforts for it, it's like not really worth it.

3) i'm tired of everything and the **** _ _ _ .

bye. i'm chased off the com.


may i pass all my exams with flying walking colours.

shall update!

i'm stressing up! wan swen is too! we both feel kinda depressed because CT1s are killer papers. so what's the pt of studying when u're gg to fail? to find how much we will fail by?

this sat is nus concert, choir guest performer. SIAN there goes my day. bing hao and mx asked me to bring my books to study. but it's like REALLY saddening to do so.

choir bbq crashes with JTS and i cant change any of the 2 dates. cus i'm a small fry. W. i guess i will just have to give up on JTS becus i'm organinsing choir bbq. can't pang seh. but mayb i can leave earlier then i can go catch my classmates and junior class just b4 they go home...


Jialing asked me if i really like _____ . but right now, i dun think so leh. it's kinda impossible hor. on the other hand, i alwys take super long to find out if i really liked someone... eg. ....


jia en, yi qian and eunice are so fun to talk to! i've also seen the OTHER side of joyce, where she's not so dao/sian. hahaha. cute year 1s!

SHEESH. I've become so vulgar recently.

i keep repeating my words because, MY ARMS HURT SO MUCH. it shows that i haven been using them much. but seriously, it's so painful that i can feel the gravitational force on it when i'm standing up straight. then there's still choir after all these. i so wanted to go home and sleep.

sian. sian. sian.
I sympathize but i don't agree. why must things we so complicated.
that's why i like most of the tkg girls better , i just feel a sense of connection with them. they are so much more innocent. may be they are not yet exposed to the world.

i've gotta a mortal and they say he's _ _ _ _ _.
the probability of me having a good angel/mortal to write to out of 5 of them is ________ . i should say 1/5 is a good number.


WONDER why i can type while my arms hurt, BECAUSE it's my arms NOT fingers that hurt.

today is VDAY.

i spent my day with guys. SEE I SO POPULAR. haha. no la. it's with the guys AND girls from choir. LOL.

so sad sad.

aft choir went to vs hostel to study with lin wei and disturb kai zong!

i was so bored that continue taking pictures of my dying rose. it's actually quite gross to see the inside of the rose.

ANYWAY, the moral of the story is MATH kills.

then we (me lin wei and another guy) took bus 36 and we talked so much. haha... it was really fun.

went to clarke quay to meet qin. haha. we walked the whole of singapore river to vch there. CANT find what we wanted. i guess it's destiny. HAHAHAHAH. anw, we ended up being nice good ppl and went home at ten. shall upload pics nxt time~

BORING vday. DIDNT get much stuff this year BUT....

this is frm my beloved junior YI QIAN!!! it's pink in colour in conjunction with vday! she's so cute! dun worry the "my lover" "me" words are written by me! she's nt les...

today is vday/friendship eve.

it's even less exciting as compared to last yr. cus i also didnt prepare much for it. too lazy la. wanswen baked this honey cereal thing tat's so nice! jia ling put choco on balloons sticks.

... ....

these aint the main pt. the main pt is...
i went back to TKG CHOIR. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOH.

went back with jiaen, ruby and joshua (extra tkss guy. HAHAH. jk la. is we drag him there one.) didnt get to see miss lim though. realised tat i onli noe the sec 4s and there have been a change in tchr AGES ago.

i dunno if i miss tkg, becus life in vjc is so fun/diff. but i definitely miss the sec 4 juniors. some of them changed. they've become the LEADERS now. rachel got a "older" looking face, jeanette more strict, cheryl INSISTED she looked diff with her long hair and putri w/o specs.

i've asked them if they feel older or did they mature, they said yes.

then i asked that to myself. i feel no. it's like i'm still behaving like them. even though i'm 2 years older. it's like my char to be fun crazy clumsy and stuff. it's so hard for me to turn into this firm serious calm girl. that's so nt me. thus if i'm not behaving like an calm mature adult, does it mean that i've not grown up?


i guess it can be seen from my behaviour. how come i cant be strict with ppl? why i love to help others out? why i did my hw? why i behave? it's cus i dun wanna be a burden to others or dun wanna make other's sad. it's shown in my pf 16. thus they recommend that i be involved in the social sector.

i've should have watched my mouth. why do i alwys say the wrong things. doesnt it make me a back stabber. HAIX. i noe how tiring it is to be involved in this kinda things. why cant every one be genuine and pure? do things cause u want to but not to impress ppl. ok, even if u really wanna impress ppl, just do them sometimes NOT plan ur whole series of actions. SIAN. what's this world like now? I DUNNO.

when the sec 4s so wanna grown up to find a guy...

i so wanna go back to that time where guys are just out of reach.
innocent young days.


time flies. each year is getting shorter becus the proportion of 1 yr to ur age is getting smaller.
i think u're one of the few guys i really like to hang out with.

...

i's utterly disgusted. why are there so many touchy couples everywhere. i noe vday is the day after BUT please do ur stuff in private. I DUN WAN sore eyes. it's like i didnt use to notice this kinda stuff in public areas but recently, there's an increase inthe no. of incidents. is it the society getting more "open" ? or is it me getting more sensitive?

i must keep this in mind. when i get a bf, not like i will get one soon, i will not display affection in public areas and disturb others.

so, my dear friends who does that, jus take note of this habit of mine. and dun do them infront of me. i will be disturbed.


URGH.

i've just gotten a msg frm qin that she wanna go out with kexin to watch movie. AHH! i even rejected wan swen offer to go out on sat.. now she pang sei! FINE, i go try my luck to see if swen is still available. and we go double dating. HAHA.

OH CRAP. so i'm the back up plan for wan swen. HMM. she will go study with me when no secret admirer ask her out. great. so am i supposed to keep my day free for her?

then qin ask me if i wanna go WITH her and kexin to watch benjamin buttons (which i've already watched) and some chi movie look for a star. i called her pang sei and she said it's tian who pang sei us first. COOL. i've learnt a lesson. when ppl pang sei u, u can pang sei others.

URGH. (the 2nd time). i dun freaking care. since qin is gg to make plans with kexin so it doesnt matter if i join or nt. so if i dun, i will just be the back up for wan swen.

GREAT.

ok, i sounded harsh. mayb it's because i'm in a bad mood.

SIAN.

my bruise turned red. just like the colour of my skin when i was sun burnt.

went to church and met qin aft wards. SHE WANTS ME TO CRY when she leaves.
but i hate showing the emotional side of me. it makes me feel pathetic.
however, she feels that crying is the form of showing how impt we are to each other.

well, we shall see what will happen. whether i can control my emotions well enough or not.

i've stared at at the screen for very long. not knowing what to type.

ytd was so fun that today's activity is a little pale in comparison.

went choir, met the new year 1s and we wanted to have section lunch with the yr 1s who are temporary in the section. but there's no time, so we advise them to ta pao back to sch and eat. thus, the year 2 altos went burger king with joshua (year 2) and some others...

then i headed down to dobby ghaut on bus 36 to study with marcus and met steven and ppl on the bus. then STUDY STUDY STUDY


went to eat. go home. use com. blog.

that practically summarises my day's activity.



"open the door." (i dun usually use the doorbell cus it's super loud.)
it's weird to return home w/o bugi (my maid) saying "orh" and opening the door for me.
she left for her country today and she's not coming back. as in not coming back to my house la. most probably she's coming back to sg aft she've rested enough. from now till the new maid come, we'ill have to survive. thus, no more home cook food as it's troublesome to cook/wash... (i hope this rules only apply for weekdays.)

and u can either opt in or opt out for this new dinner system. "you either eat EVERY SINGLE day at home or eat out. if u're eating at home, u've to take turns to buy food and have to accept whatever food they buy."

"OPT OUT" said my elder bro and sis.

obviously, i opted out too. i guess if there's no one to eat with during weekdays, then i'ill just go w/o. treat it as dieting then.

after which, my mum split the housechores among us. my duty is to put the clothes back into the cupboard. i guess this is the best time to learn independence. wash up after u've finished. dun keep changing clothes. dun mess up the place.


ok, i've to go now. to put the clothes in.

today was REALLY fun. it's been a while since we've a full day activity.

we start the day with class picnic at ecp when the year 1s have sea carnival! so, our class eat (western food, cny goodies, bday cake), play (monopoly & touch rugby) and also CYCLE (FOR 2 HOURS)! we're all sun "kissed". jialing fell, cus she wanted to hitch a ride from my bike when she's blading, and i was careless to increase speed when she haven grab properly. so she kinda roll on the floor like those car accidents u see on tv. but she's really brave to continue blading back even though she's bleeding. i wanted to ask her to hitch a ride from me again so she dun have to move her knees which hurt. BUT i guess she'ill never wanna try that again! oh, just an interesting pt, she laughs when she's in pain from the antiseptic. hahaha.

aft we finish the ride it's 3pm and we (classmates) rush down to ps gv to watch the benjamin movie. WOOH. it's so sad. i teared, NOT CRY ok. i'm not so emotional. hahaha. the movie lasted for 3 hrs to 7pm where we took a bus down to suntec.

grab a bite and went for mass dance! i was with my classmates at first then there's so "choir" line running around the fountain and i got pulled in. so the whole session was my running between the choir and the class lines... in the end i settled down with the choir ppl for mass dance. it's quite funny seeing the choir guys dancing with a TREE for the friendship dance. LOL. it didn't rain but the fountain splash water on us! and we're all wet and cold. FUN FUN FUN.

can't wait till next wk senior meet junior. HEEHEEHEE. well, i hope there's choir ppl in my junior class. and really hope that they are ppl i noe/ will noe.

tmr got choir!

i'm lagging behind during this whole week.

I'm running outta time, to study and other stuff.

dai ze ask me to go for mission trip durin march hols, but i've choir camp.

may nt b gg mass dance tmr, got prayer meeting.

on the bright side...

1) my leg's getting better! yeah.
2) tmr's picnic, cycling, games
3) it's weekend already

anyway, if any1 wanna go study please call me ok!!!!! CUS I NORMALLY SLACK AT HOME. urgh.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

i just need to vent it out.

"you are old enough to make you own decisions. so think about it properly yourself."

so how come you're not giving me the freedom to make decisions in OTHER aspect like LEISURE?

cca walkabout was fun, sticky and tiring. it's so fun to bully alex and collin! haha. make alex keep giving up his seat for girls and collin to wear the billboard. seeing them in orientation really make me wanna have fun too!

week of jc1 orientation. i really appreciate the school for having no lectures this week! HOWEVER, now we have so many awkward breaks in between. saw the year 1s this year. got 1 or 2 cute ones la! haha. the choir room is getting crowded with the new year 1s. well, i love to share.

my wound is itchy. i guess it's healing. SHEESH. my mum jus said my wound is infected cus there's white stuff inside.

i gtg start thinking of the future. leaving it till after As is not going to work.

we're not enough.

choir ends early so me, ming xin and pin lang went to changi airport to eat popeyes. don't like it leh. both the price and the food. oh ya, the girls think i'm a lesbian. i guess i should just stop telling others about how i feel.

aft tt we went to study.

airport is such a high class place. good for study, good for talking.


i'm starting to feel the stress. 6 weeks to ct1 and we have so much to cover.

next week is orientation for jc1s!!! hope we got really good juniors. and may my angel/mortal be nice when we play the angel and mortal game. did u realise that i wrote angel/mortal without the 's'? becus i dun need so many good ones!! i just need one and it's time consuming and sweet enough to play the game with le. YEAH.

oh ya. i keep forgetting to tell qin. let's test if she reads this blog. eh, the hy add me on face book. am i suppose to add back?

tmr got choir. and it ends early.

qin still haven pass me the photos thru thumbdrive so i can onli upload those i got from facebook.

i forgot to upload the pictures from botanic garden. it's in the other com. shall try to put them up next time.

cny, is no longer abt ang paos and food. it's abt bonding with relatives even though u dunno their names. it's abt keepin in contact even without parents pulling u all together. played com with gabin, ginne , andy, elaine and angela... and also played connect 3/4/5 with gary, cus we're so bored at playing connect 4 onli. connect 5 is super hard to win while connect 3 is the opposite..

watched this dvd on a guy with no arms and legs. re-enforced my thinking on not judging ppl by what they do, how they look like. but we must like them for who they are... also i've gotta find out my purpose in life. he mentioned that he's was to be a speaker that inspires and help others. however, not everyone have to be a speaker too. so what's ur purpose? that aft all these years of education and sufferin, what do u wanna accomplish?

if u have to endure pain and sufferings in your life so much that u wanna die, will u still live on as u noe that one moment in ur life, u will get to save another person's life?

HEY YO. today is 2nd day of cny. stayed at home the whole day and have relatives coming over. it's quite fun la. talking to them and see how tall they've grown into. it's really ironic that once we've start to have the new year mood then we've to go back to the inflexible routine life.

once again, 630 in the morning . books in the afternoon. Sian.

at least there's no tuition this week.

happy chinese new year EVE eve EVE!!!!

there's cny celebration in sch aft 2 periods or phy lecture. we watched diff performance, have lao yu sheng and also celebrated ben's bday. he got this "BIRDay boy" paper sticked on his back and also a green colour cone on his head.

aft tt i went thai pan with some choir ppl for lunch. faith came too. it's really great to talk to her.

then i rush home, bath and went orchard to meet qin. aft pondering bet gg botanic gardens/ eat / watch movie, we've decided to take away food and go botanic gardens. it's really a nice place, there's fishes in the mud, swans cleaning themselves, rat (i think) running around, kids playing and PLANTS.

i will upload some pics next time.

oh did i mention the series of unfortunate event didnt just stop at that day? cus i've injured myself today. i scrapped off some skin while standing at the stone steps. at first the THING that was exposed was pale white.. so me and qin was wondering if it's flesh or bones or just skin... then after awhile it was dyed red by the blood. there's this constant pain in my ankle.. but when i feel SHARP pain.... it's either my pants touch the wound OR a fly landed on it. SO GROSS. ouch.

aft all these we went back orchard to eat pepper lunch and ice cream then head home. NOW, i'm gonna bath and clean my poor leg. :(


nevertheless, IT'S A HAPPY DAY.

qin is super funny!!! haha. it's like whatever interestin stuff i say she makes it even fun-er! i cant
believe she just read all my letters in 1/2 hr when i took so long to write and fold them!!! we gonna hang out more more more! esp during cny.

eh, dave. i hope u're ok. though i really wanted to complain all about u here! but i guess i shan't hurt u even more. ltr u cry! true friends says the truth even though it hurts. well, all i wan you to know is that there's a reason for everything. like why i'm all pesimistic about love. while u can say i'm a coward and all. but it's not gonna change my mindset. cus i still feel that we're too young to love anyone when u dun even know how to love urself properly. but i bet that concept doesnt apply to you since U R A GUY. so, just go and jio the girls. hahah. but dun target my friends ah.. and even though we're so diff, it's a miracle that we're friends for so long. keep it up man!

i'm in sch lab slacking!! haha. i really wanna go out to play. someone please come and take me far far away to a place without BOOKS ok?

ben's bday is coming. and he wish is to clear his debts. so... what presents should we get him?

i'm accident prone. yet it's not reflected on the paper. or may be the extend of me doing stupid things is still not as high? let's see, i've fall down while walking straight, bang into a pillar while turning round a corner and almost stepped on a cat. and all these happened in a day.

soo... is the report accurate?

LOVE. there's at least 14 definitions of it on the dictionary.com website. according to

2.	a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.

i think i really love her. now i understand what gabriela and charmaine felt a few years back. they were so close that they thought they are lesbians. that's when they started to move away from each other. i also kinda know what debra felt when relationship breaks. hey, don't get worried. i'm not curved (un-straight). it's jus when i thought of losing a best friend make me want to cry. of course i did. but it's not gonna make the situation any better, q will still go. however, her impact in my life will never fade off. it will alwys be a part of me(as she changed my character partially) i know i've never said this b4, but the relationship workshop really taught me something relevant- appreciate others, so i'm gonna say it now as we do not know what's gonna happen tmr.

qin, i love you! i appreciate all your efforts in maintaining our friendship. i hope this will go on even when u're away but if it doesn't, rmb that we'ill meet someday again in heaven. so please go to church and read the bible!! don't get pulled away by this world.

i'm impressed by n. the way she can write things w/o caring who may thing abt her. sometimes being frank isnt a bad thing. although i understand why she wrote them, but i don't agree. i guess that's how human nature is, everyone reacts differently to situations.

i'm a possessive person? then why am i jealous?

this is a new start.

this time round, it will be different.